Hi,
I'm Sam. My brother has a long history of being diagnosed with Asperger's and then using drugs from the age of 14 to now. He's had quite a few big disappointments with life recently (work, friends, etc). These sent him into a depressive and suicidal state. These few months have been getting worse. He lost a great job opportunity, which he saw as a huge failing. Then spent 4 months in a self-destructive stage - not eating, smoking weed and not sleeping.
Now with covid, and with no plans into the future, he descended into paranoia. Half the time he won't tell me what's wrong, the other half he blames me for it. 2 weeks ago, he told me he was going to commit suicide soon, which really scared me because he cut his arm very deeply 4 years ago so I take this very seriously.
Finally he volunteered to be admitted at a psychiatric hospital. On his first night he broke his laptop and cut himself. In the hospital he was diagnosed with cannabis induced mental health disorder and was sent home, to me.
He's not refusing all of the preventative measures of psychosis and any other help and discharged himself from their care.
I just don't understand WHY he wants to stay with me? After complaining about my actions to get him help or being involved in his delusions!!
I fear for the future, if he will not accept something as mild as CBT. Sometimes, in despair, I know he will take his life, and that part of me will feel free of this 15 years of insanity. Does this make me a bad person? Idk how much more I can put up with and I am worried about my own health as well!
That sounds very difficult, remember to make time for yourself and take care of your mental health!